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Ah, what a wedding!
Getting
hitched, hopefully for life, is no more a simple affair with
family and friends gathering to bless the couple. Today, for
the rich and socially upward in India, wedding is the perfect
time to show off their monetary clout, observes Anju Munshi
Getting married? Welcome to this latest commercial enterprise
called wedding where you get married according to a theme.
You could be getting married in a Roman ambience or in the
midst of a romantic Paris landscape, or even in a fairytale
castle with relevant dress, headgear, food etc to match. The
elaborate setting is supposed to create an aura conducive
to a lasting and eternally joyful alliance between the duo.
The name given to such enterprises is 'traditional weddings'
but are they really?
Choosing invitation cards is the beginning of the grand affair.
The envelopes are, after all, the first things that guests
will see and then gauge your socio-economic muscle. These
high-flyer wedding invitations are always hand-delivered.
In the early 18th century, those who sent engraved invitations
belonged to the upper class. The recipient's butler would
take the (probably dirty) envelope from the courier, open
it and present the neat, clean inner envelope to the lady
of the house. Thus was a tradition born that continues even
now but with a difference. Today, there is no butler and an
envelope introduces and tends to reflect the colours or theme
of the wedding. Traditional Indian wedding they may proclaim,
but many have a western flavour with pictures of cake- cutting
and multi-cuisine spread etc. At times it does not look like
a traditional invitation card at all. It looks like a grotesque
scroll with a 24 carat gold embossed border or a Tanjore painting
or even something as ornamental as a papier-mache jewellery
box studded with precious stones. Perhaps it's meant to be
cherished and preserved for posterity, for such invitations
never see the light of the garbage cans. One thing that remains
constant, however, is the stoic Ganesha on the cover of the
card.
For the bride, it is a gory ritual of the pre-bridal package
with 12 sittings that start two months prior to the big day,
which culminates in the just-before-the-wedding make-up routine
and the wedding- day- make-up and draping of the sari. The
parlours are raking in lollies with this new way of making
the bride look her best. But in reality, they succeed in giving
her a pale, fatigued and an anxious look. She ends up getting
jumpy and nervous about her looks and also uncertain with
her new look which is thrust on her . Couple this have-to-
look-your-best- for- you-only-get-married-once feeling with
a tight ritual regimen and the strict protocol at the theme
wedding, and the much sought after glow becomes an elusive
affair.
Where henna application is concerned, the orient takes over.
At present, motifs with fish and other Fengshui symbols that
rule. Henna has also become a versatile wedding statement and
has traversed widely over the years to become an upwardly mobile
phenomenon, in the sense that from the hands it has gone up
to the arms, the waist and also the naval and onto the back
in the form of tattoos. From the feet it goes right up to the
ankles and the legs and maybe higher up which is best left to
imagination.
These are called 'tattoo mehndi' which is henna plus colour
plus glitter and all hell will break loose if they do not match
the bridal outfit. Exorbitant cost, of course, does not matter.
It's the coordinated look that counts, get it?
While it is commonplace for brides to want to look stunning
on their wedding day, should the grooms be left behind? They
too are moving beyond the basics of shaving and passing a
comb through their hair and embracing a range of more sophisticated
personal grooming techniques. For guys, the wedding is one
occasion when they just have to drop the Armani and Versace
suits and go all out ethnic, because it's a fact, as the fair
sex will testify, desi guys look great in ethnic clothes from
the pagri (turban) down to the mojhris (shoes)
As for the invitee ladies, more often than not, traditional
saris have given way to fish tail lehengas, Velcro saris and
blouses with cuts that vary from the halter to the knotted
back, spaghettis, shoulder off, bustiers etc.
In pandal décor, marigold time a la Monsoon Wedding,
is up. Tulips, Lilies, Anthuriums, orchids, African Lilies
and Proteas rule the scene , depending more on the theme.
Selecting a mandap has always been an important decision in
planning a wedding. Today, the so called sacred wedding canopy
is a reflection of the couple's taste and style and the family's
old aunties and grannies cannot pitch in since their suggestions
do not fit in the fashionably-correct designs. You don't need
warmth of your friends and the guidance of a dadi and a dadu
for you can now hire a wedding planner who will ensure that
the wedding is clinical in all aspects, neat to the hilt,
never mind the cost. The last thing any couple wants at this
time is to haggle over these 'unimportant' things.
However, these professionals come in quite handy considering
the hassles of choosing locations for the ceremony and reception,
handle caterers and menus, order cakes and flowers, the works.
Ironically, the wedding planner, while being pucca professional,
has to be 'ritually-educated' i.e. has to have what is termed
as an ethnic and cultural awareness, even while glued to the
cell phone.
But now, in the warm golden sun of winter, throw cynicism
to the wind and get set to enjoy from the wings the spectacle
of the great Indian wedding where you do not matter anyway.
What matters is the one-upmanship in spending between the
bride and groom 'sides', a theme hungry , multicuisine mindset
, a DJ cult and of course, some star presence to generate
awe amongst the invitees and also to seal the event with the
stamp of 'Ah, what a wedding!'
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